Sunday, August 14, 2011

I hate babies (Part 2)


Here is the continuation of the epic baby-rant.



+++3. They're very effective in showing you what they DON'T want, but they are never able to show you what they WANT.+++

They are spoiled even when they're just in the crib. They manipulate us because they are used to getting what they want, ALL the time. And people think it's strange I call them annoying? They cry, whine, fuss and moan CONSTANTLY even when NOTHING IS WRONG WITH THEM! Most older babies just cry for attention, to get what they want. They have no patience, no empathy or regard for anyone but themselves. Yes, they love you. Would't you love the single idiot willing enough to wipe the shiat off your butt and bring you milk?

+++4. They stay little too long.+++

They progress frustratingly slowly. They're incontinent for what? Three whole years? They spill their food all over the place and projectile vomit for about... Two entire years? You have GOT. To be kidding me. Kids don't grow up too fast when it comes to the gross stuff. They are plain nasty when it comes to bodily fluids.

+++5. They're dumb. There, I said it.+++

I see babies hanging from their buggies that look like they are retarded, in a coma or drugged. How anyone can interact with such a child, is beyond me. There ARE some older babies that actually act like a small human being, but most of them have an expression on their faces that show they are not really there. They should just stay asleep for the next two years if they can not do anything... Interesting.

Those are my reasons for hating them. I can tolerate older children, but babies? They make me run for the nearest exit. Sorry.

25 comments:

  1. hahahaha while i find your statements funny, i guess i cant agree. I like babies, they are real pimps. They do nothing and have everyone at their feet.

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  2. Spot on buddy! And they always fucking annoy you when you go out to eat. Like wtf, I don't want to hear you cry while I'm trying to enjoy my food..

    I found your blog through a friend +1 follow !! (Would appreciate the same :D)

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  3. This is why I will never have kids.

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  4. Hahahaha, you sound like my girlfriend.

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  5. Ok these points I can relate to a little more. Maybe cause I'm in a bad mood today I dunno haha. Funny though, thanks mate for the laugh.

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  6. They are like stay in their room grumpy goth's lol. They expect their parents to do everything why can they levitate across the room and do it themselves haha.

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  7. haha? So you hate human babies? but aren't ALL babies like this? Well, most mammal babies anyway. Are there any babies that you don't want to punch in the face??

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  8. I agree with most of your post. Babies are definitely annoying and stupid. And they are certainly not cute! I wouldn't say I hate babies but I dislike being in the company of them very much.

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  9. we were all a baby once in our lives

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  10. Aw, but babies are adorable and cute when they're not screaming bloody murder...

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  11. Hah the incontinence and projectile vomiting makes a resurgence in the teen years with the discovery of alcohol. Not to mention the stupidity... sweet frigid stupidity...

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  12. but you still wanna bite on those cheeks

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  13. I'm all over number 4.

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  14. You shouldn't be so angry with babies, man. You used to be one yourself :P.

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  15. The more people I meet, the more people I know who hate children and babies. There sure are a lot of them considering how unpopular they are.

    Check out my math blog.

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  16. I think my kitten of 2 weeks only is more capable of a baby of 2 years old...

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  17. after reading your rant i think i hate babies a bit more as well. i agree with you on all that

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